With a scientific education, I was used to questioning ideas, theories and assumptions.  I knew that I sensed there was more than the apparent facts that we humans teach each other at any point in history—doubt and uncertainty have always existed and many of the most important things remain mysterious. This could have been very frightening, but I was comforted by an experience of something greater than our human intellectual endeavours which has and will continue to exist beyond our understanding.

In my early 20s I explored several faiths and denominations and admired some of the followers but could not “sign up”. My beliefs did not sit comfortably within a formal creed or any set texts partly because these may well prove to be misguided in time. While undertaking voluntary work and from contact with campaigning pressure groups, I kept coming across Quakers actively pursuing social goals I shared, having contributed to the setting up of charities and social movements.

At 22 I attended my first Quaker Meeting. I felt very self-conscious and an hour seemed a long time to sit in silence not sure what might happen. Afterwards, I was made to feel welcome without pressure to join and I valued the openness, tolerance and testimonies. I sometimes still find my mind wanders and an hour can then feel like a long time, but at others I have been disappointed when the Elders shake hands marking the end of Meeting. It has felt like a really “gathered Meeting”

The sense of shared seeking and community is invaluable to me now. I am a very imperfect Quaker and definitely not an unreserved pacifist but the overarching sense of acceptance and room for growth among Friends is an important part of my life. It sits well with my own journey trying to accept my own imperfections and respect and learn from others’ paths.

I try not to make coming to Meeting for Worship another thing that I “should” do. Even the word “worship” does not always seem appropriate. But the unexpected Ministry or the calming sense of the presence of something greater than any individual is an experience I miss if I cannot attend Meeting for any length of time.